Promises, Promises

While talking to a friend today, we got on the topic of promises. This is an incredibly broad topic so I'm only going to talk about a little bit of it.

To start with though, I need to point out the obvious. Promises are made just as much and as easily as people eat fries and hamburgers. Yeah, if you eat them frequently (you know who you are) first of all, you know what I'm talking about, second of all, no shame. No shame. Go to it. However, in between bites of your fries, or for my U.K. friends out there, your chips (and your fish for which I'm am very jealous), I need you guys to understand something. In this great day and age of technology, where you can do pretty much anything you want at the touch of a button, and with social media being the biggest problem, words and the weight of them has become almost irrelevant. Which is sad. So incredibly sad.

Somewhere along the way we have forgotten what promises mean. When so many people surround us like never before, we say "life happens," "things change," "something came up." Oooooooh the good ole cliches. Can we just stop? Please? I'm begging you. Something did not just "come up." Life DOES happen. Yes. But also remember life happens much according to the choices we make. You didn't HAVE to talk to that person. You didn't HAVE to go to that place you knew was probably a bad idea but you went anyway and blew off your best friend or S/O because you didn't want to be "lame" or you have to keep a certain image, or you knew things were going to be chill and quiet with whoever you originally made plans with. Get over yourself. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but get over yourself. You're playing with people's feelings, causing insecurities, breaking trust, and causing so much damage you don't even know. You're causing people to cry themselves to sleep every night and hide their tears in the hot water of their shower every morning.

In a world so riddled with suicide, bullying, insecurities like none other and violence, please stop and actually look at the things you do. Think about them. Think about what you're doing to people. I get that sometimes you need breaks from life, from people, even your best friends. That's completely and utterly understandable. However, just send said person(s) a message saying you need a bit of recharge time and it's nothing to do with them and you'll talk to them later. Ignoring people is also damaging. In my case, (yes, you can call this a personal problem, I know), if someone ignores me, my brain instantly goes into overdrive analyzing any situation or things I've said that could have caused the person to ignore me. It's incredibly self-depricating and destructive on so many levels. Nine times out of ten, the scenarios that come about from overthinking aren't even true. But a settling happens and I act so unbelievably weird and off until I talk to that person and they make me tell them what's wrong. And in the end, it's just me being an idiot. As someone told me recently, stop letting the devil inside your head to mess with you.

Now, on to the other issue with promises. Stop making them. Just stop. I read so many books and the current series I'm reading, one of the main characters starts calling himself "Liar and Oath-breaker." He knows the things he did wrong. A promise is an oath. Personally, I don't make a promise unless it's something serious and there's no way in hell I'd ever break it. I'd go to the ends of the earth to keep it. Here's the biggest promise you need to understand you don't make unless you're 1000% sure about it. And you should already know what this is. Stop telling someone you love them and then leave a short time later. Stop promising you'll never leave, always and forever, together until the end. Those promises have turned into Hollywood movie cliche phrases that no one believes anymore. Personally, I think they kill any and all relationships. I've heard them all. Believed them all. And all were broken. If you can't look into the future and actually see yourself having a life with that person and are willing to compromise and learn how to talk and work things out when you fight (because you will), then just stop.

I know a lot of people in this world are logical thinkers. I know numbers, careers, money, houses, material objects in general outweigh the people around them. A lot of people have the logic of needing all those things before they feel ready to settle down. And that's okay. But make sure you put that up front on the table from the very beginning. Not everyone feels that way. Some people just want to be loved. That's it. They want your time, attention, and love over any material possession you could give them. It means a great deal more. And therefore, the promises you make or might make also mean a great deal more. As soon as you break a promise, they start paying attention to every other promise broken. Even if you don't say the words that you promise you'll do something, if you make an obligation, an arrangement, plans, anything. You pass on any of those, don't show up, cancel, thats another promise broken. Sorry to put so much pressure on you. But it's called honor. The way you conduct yourself, how you treat people, that will ultimately always be what people remember. Not whatever great thing you accomplished in your life. How you make people feel, that's what counts. Your dignity, honor and truth. That's what makes a person. Don't put yourself in compromising situations if you don't want to have a fight with someone later.

I'll end on this note. If someone means ANYTHING AT ALL to you. Even if it's just a smidgen. Pay attention to them. Be kind to them. Help them. Love them. Be there for them. The quote that everyone has a battle going on you know nothing about is so true, you can't even fathom it. If someone is upset because of something you did, don't get defensive. Listen to them. Don't hate them for it. They just operate differently than you. View it as a growing experience. THAT is called "life happens." Life happening is getting to know the people you care about. The little things matter just as much if not more than the big things, for they are what truly make up a person. There are many puzzle pieces to people and they create beautiful works of art if you care enough to find each one and view the big picture. But please. Stop making promises you can't keep or don't intend to keep.

This is where I like the concept and idea of knights in shining armor. It really has nothing to do with their armor. Or it shining. I like to think of the shining armor as a metaphor for their qualities and personalities. Not because it's shiny and some of us like shiny things. It doesn't have to do with fairytales and Disney princesses. This is where beauty is shining from the inside out so much that the dents, scrapes and tarnishing on their outside armor dims in comparison and you barely notice it. It's the little things, guys. Remember that.